Being Married to a Reader: Gazing Lovingly at… Books

I’m not even sure how it came up, but Jamie of the Perpetual Page Turner and I were inspired to write these posts when we were talking about our husbands and reading one day. We thought it was funny how my husband was a reader and hers wasn’t. In my head I thought: HOW DOES THAT WORK!? Well, folks, we answer all your burning questions about marriage and reading today. Well, we try to absolutely show that both ways can work for us book nerds. Be sure to stop over at Jamie’s post today to uncover the mysteries of “I’m married to a non-reader“.

But first…


Every night in our apartment ends the same.

We’re practically salivating for the moment we end up here.

Rather Be Reading Blog Married to a Reader Our Bed

Hey now. Obviously, I am talking about the magic that occurs every night when James and I lay side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder reading our latest books.

I’ll be honest. James and I are pretty different. He hates to buy new clothes; I’m kind of a shopaholic. He loves heavy metal music and I’m a country music fan. He’s definitely way more patient than I am. He’s also more of a cook while I am a baker. But I guess after eight years together (and 2 years of marriage), all of those details are just small parts of our relationship. We share a love of beer, exploring our new city, dreaming about Disney trips, and, of course, as proud English majors, there is the reading thing.

Rather Be Reading Blog Married to a Reader Our Bookshelves

Facts about our reading habits:

→ I buy more books than he does.
→ I read all different times a day, and he only reads at night.
→ He hates reading on his iPad. I quite like my Nook.
→ I take it super personally when he turns on his side to read in bed. (It’s silly, I know.)
→ Our bookshelves are mostly filled with my books.
→ He’s not a fan of YA. (Don’t faint, people.) But The Phantom Tollbooth is one of his favorites.
→ You can ask Alexa and Rachel. He is very good at keeping busy when I’m on a book shopping spree.
→ When we visit new towns, we really like to find a new local bookstore to check out. (Geeky!)
→ Ignoring is love when you are both reading on a beach. Just a tip.
→ Probably my favorite fact of all? Our book-themed wedding!

I’m no expert on marriage but it’s kind of nice to know I can come home, throw on my comfy clothes, and cuddle up to my guy and not talk for a little bit. I like to think that a successful relationship is about accepting each other’s passions, maybe dipping into them a little bit to show support, and allowing each other to grow separately and as a unit. And as certified bookworm, it’s comforting to know that someone loves the library as much as I do.

In fact, it’s kind of sexy.

Whether we are like this:

Rather Be Reading Blog Married to a Reader On the Beach

Or this:

Rather Be Reading James and Estelle on Vacation

BONUS CONTENT: Meet James (cameo voice over by Pepper the Cat)


Now it’s your turn! Do you and your partner both like to read? Is it great? Or is it not a huge deal to you?

Be sure to spill in the comment section!

Psst. Don’t forget to stop over at Jamie’s blog!

29 thoughts on “Being Married to a Reader: Gazing Lovingly at… Books

  1. Melissa @ Writer Grrl Reads says:

    Omigosh! Did I know that you had a bookish themed wedding? I seem to remember that I knew this already — but I might not have known. It could be baby brain, very possible. In any case: WE DID TOO!!!!!!

    Love bookish hubbies. They’re the best kind, in my totally-biased opinion. Although I do wish that my hubby would read less chess, and more of the book that I am constantly recommending to him. I know that he’ll love them all, but he can’t read as fast as I add them to his TBR list 😉

  2. Kelly says:

    The hubs is a reader, but only sporadically. Like when he found GoT, I couldn’t get him to do anything because he wanted to read them so badly! Fortunately, he’s content to play some video games while I read on the couch next to him and we lovingly ignore each other for an hour or so, before putting down our respective hobbies and getting out of the house to do something!

  3. Cassie says:

    This is so great. Especially the video at the end, HI JAMES! 🙂 Jon is in between, he reads but not much, but he gets VERY into his books when he does, so I suppose I’m in between your answers AND Jamie’s! But hey, it works 😉

    So glad you and James can share one of your biggest loves, though <3 Since you clearly don't agree on music 😉 [don't worry, neither do me and Jon!] hahaha

    Love youuu <3 and this!

  4. Bookworm1858 says:

    I love it! I’m not in a relationship but one of my criteria is love of reading or willingness to support the love of reading that’s in me (especially in regards to decorating using books.)

  5. Ginger @ GReads! says:

    I love the vast differences between your side of the bed & James’, haha This was such a fun post idea! Loved getting a more personal glimpse inside yours & Jamie’s marriages. As much as I love to read, I have a feeling I’ll end up with someone who’s not much of a reader – but let’s hope he can still appreciate it! lol

  6. Jamie says:

    You guys are too cute!!! I love both of our posts and, as much as I’m ok with Will not being a reader, I can dream about being able to read in bed together (he better not turn over to the side though!!)

    ALSO..omg YES..I am SOOOOO happy that Will understands that beach time is reading time. He just sleeps haha. But his family this past week wanted to TALK TALK TALK. I’m like noooo please stop. I don’t want to have to just ignore you.

    ALSO I can’t believe I didn’t add “lets you have a bookish wedding” under my “characteristics a good non-bookish husband should have”…because he totally did!! He even hunted all around the city for old books with me. SIGH. Fail. I should put that on there before he notices 😛


    Loved that we did this! :))

  7. Ghenet says:

    That video was adorable! 🙂

    My husband is a reader but in a different way…he loves audio books! He’s always listening to one, and it’s his preferred method of “reading.” He doesn’t listen to the same kinds of books that I read–he likes non-fiction about sociology, psychology, etc.(think Malcolm Gladwell-type stuff) but sometimes I’ll read one of his NF picks if it sounds interesting to me. And! When I read THE FAULT IN OUR STARS last year I raved about it so much to him that he downloaded the audio book and listened to it. He liked it! 🙂

    Anyway, I definitely appreciate that my husband enjoys books (even if he prefers listening) and I agree that it’s important to have separate interests and some “quiet time” at home! It makes the time spent together more special.

  8. daphne says:

    y’all are totally cute. i wish my hubby read more, but he’s more of a listening to audio books on the way to and from work, but i gladly support his habit and he puts up with me reading in the car when he’s driving and wants to talk (mostly).

  9. bookrockbetty says:

    You guys are so cute!! It must be awesome to have a book lover hubby! It’s nice that you guys share a lot of other passions as well!
    Mr. Betty reads a lot of non fiction… but he has been reading some YA fiction lately so that has been fun! I gotta admit, like you, I find it reaaally sexy when a guy reads! The last few weeks have been awesome– every time I look out in the living room after we put the baby bettys to bed he’s been out on the couch with a beer and a book!!! The best part is that it bothers him when I start talking to him. HA!!! How can I complain about that when I GET IT? hahaha Anyway, when he isn’t into a book he does get a little annoyed and jealous of my books, usually because he will say something and I literally don’t hear him. He is also super sweet and makes me tea every night when it is time to read. That is support. lol 🙂 I think it is a win for him too though… if there is something on TV that I’m not into (sports or that stupid wipe out show that i hate.. haha) I’ll just read next to him and it allows him to watch without feeling guilty! <3
    PS… Hiii Pepper!! And you lucky duck— i noticed those tattoos!!! 😉 😉

  10. Brittany @ The Book Addict's Guide says:

    You guys are so cute! I LOVE that you had a book-themed wedding! Unfortunately I don’t think Shane is down with that. But that’s okay! I actually gushed over Jamie’s post because that’s exactly how I am with Shane. Do I wish we could connect over books sometimes? Sure. But we each have our own hobbies and I kind of love that. (No competition or disagreeing over books!)
    I love that you get to share reading together! Love this pair of posts by you and Jamie!

  11. Allison L says:

    Aww! That video is so cute! I’m single but, I’ve always looked for someone who could share my passion for reading. He doesn’t really have to be as into reading as I am but at the same time I really want someone I can discuss thing with on an intellectual level, you know? Or at least if he’s not a reader, I want him to be able to support my love for it. Anyway, this is such a fun post. Off to check out Jamie’s now! 🙂

  12. Lauren @ Love is not a triangle says:

    What a fantastic post! You guys are the cutest. Also, I love your bookshelves. My husband only reads when he has gobs of free time, which was earlier in our marriage before kids. Thankfully, he still appreciates books and bookish events, so he’ll listen if I talk about what I’m reading or attend author tours with me. Love that despite your differences, you’ve found something that you both share. Even if you don’t read the same things. Oh and tell your hubs that I LOVE The Phantom Tollbooth too!!

    Like you, one of my favorite places to read EVER is the beach! I could sit in the sand all day with a book in front of me. In fact, my family goes to the beach for a week every summer and that’s what I used to do, before I had kids. Then I had a huge wake-up call because they’re little and I actually have to PAY ATTENTION to them when we’re on the beach. It’s a huge bummer ;). I don’t know if kids are on your horizon, but make sure you prepare yourselves for that change, if you have them. Going to the beach is NOT the same. Seriously, it’s one of the hugest adjustments I’ve had to make. Silly, I know. Of course I wouldn’t change it, and I know one day, I’ll be able to read there again.

  13. Leah @ The Pretty Good Gatsby says:

    STOP BEING SO CUTE YOU GUYS. Seriously, this post made me smile & smile.

    Sadly, my boyfriend isn’t a big reader. In the few years we’ve been together I’ve seen him crack open maaaybe four books & I’ve yet to hear about him actually finishing one.

    Even though he’s not a reader, he supports my love of it 100% which is awesome & doesn’t mind when I need to rant about a book or do a little flailing. 🙂

  14. Laura @ The Girl and Her Books says:

    Aw, this is so adorable. I’m in no serious relationship, but I can only hope when I am in one he’ll be a reader. I’m not seriously concerned with it, though. I do think it would be really nice for us both to love books. Also your husband is reading my favorite book too! 🙂

  15. Amanda @ Late Nights with Good Books says:

    I enjoyed reading both your and Jamie’s takes on this – which is not exactly a small concern for those of us who are voracious readers! That’s so cute and amazing that you two are able to share so many book-related moments together. I’ve been working on encouraging my boyfriend to read in bed with me – I just love doing that at the end of the day. I think he falls somewhere in between being a lover of reading and someone who doesn’t read at all, and it’s fine with me. We share some things book-related, and I get to have some things that are totally mine. That’s awesome, though, that you and your husband are able to share a love of books. It sounds like it really works for you two!

  16. Alisa Selene says:

    My hubby is a reader as well and we like sharing books together..he likes YA but perhaps not as much as I do..his passion is Dr. Who and we are both fans but he reads lots of tie-ins etc.
    Loved both of your posts!

  17. Angie says:

    My husband reads sometimes… not as much as I do but he does read. He goes to bed so early that I always have to read in the living room. If he is out of town though I hurry upstairs to read in bed! My dad never reads and I know that must drive my mom nuts!

  18. Jasmine Baggenstos says:

    My husband and I both enjoy reading, but he’s a more casual reader. He’ll go a long time without reading anything and then suddenly read a bunch at once. He recently read the first three Heroes of Olympus books in a week or so. He does read YA a bit, but doesn’t love it the same way I do.

    It’s nice when I can walk into the apartment after work and be all “give me a few minutes, I’m a super important/exciting/emotional part” and he’s okay with that.

  19. Candace says:

    My husband loves to read too! It’s a rare thing when I recommend a book he actually likes. It’s a good thing you have this blog to talk with others about the books you read. That is exactly why I recommend books to him, the only thing better than reading a book (good or bad) is talking about it with someone. To be fair, he doesn’t read as much as I do and sometimes I am not into what he’s reading either (he read Infinite Jest). Yay for reading husbands.

  20. Alexa Y. says:

    I basically just adore this post. You and James are totally adorable, just saying! (And I really, really, REALLY love that you got him to do the video, and that it was sort of willingly despite being ambushed!). I think it’s pretty great that you’re married to a fellow reader, for all of the reasons you listed up there! I know that it’s one of the reasons that Macky and I get along so well too, because we share a mutual love of stories and books. (And yes, by the way, I have seen James’ ability to be VERY busy when you’re in a bookstore in real life and it’s epic.)

  21. VeganYANerds says:

    Hey Estelle & James! Nice to see you both again 🙂

    I love that you both read, but that you have different genres and ways of reading. Chris is not a reader, but he has his computer stuff, so while I’m reading, he’s on the computer and we’re both occupied. He doesn’t understand why I love to read or why I read so many books 🙂

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