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Magan: What to Expect When You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff

magan of rather be reading announces sheWhat to Expect When You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg, Sandee Hathaway, Sharon Mazel
Publication Date: February 1, 2002
Publisher: Workman Publishing
Pages: 597
Target audience: Pregnant women!
Keywords: babies, pregnancy, expecting a baby, books to read while pregnant
Format read: Whelp, I haven’t actually read it… yet.

Summary: Are you really confused right now? Do you need an explanation.
Continue reading for more details…

 

Approximately 120,291,584 times I’ve thought about what I would say in this post. I’ve written drafts of it in my head over and over and over again. And now that I’m actually writing it, I feel so nervous. I think I’m actually shaking. I haven’t read What to Expect When You’re Expecting, but some time over the next 27 weeks, I think I might.

Here’s the short version of the story: Dustyn and I are expecting our very first baby. Holy cow, y’all, I am having a BABY. And today, a very special day — our nine-year wedding anniversary — I am so elated to share the news with you guys.

Here are a few answers to commonly asked questions:

  • When is your due date? February 7, 2014.
  • How far along are you? 13 weeks. Hello, second trimester!
  • Will you find out if you’re having a boy or a girl? We’re completely undecided. Part of us thinks it would be so fun to wait, but then we’re also a little bit Type-A and want to know how to plan and prepare. I think having our foster daughter has taught us to be a little more flexible and laid back though. So, anyway, this is still to be determined.
  • How did you keep this a secret? Well, Estelle has known since the very, very beginning. I basically asked her to keep the biggest secret ever because I was so overly fearful that something might happen and I didn’t really know how I would deal with losing a baby and having to explain that. A few people have known, but we just told our grandparents on Saturday (four days ago) that we’re expecting, so don’t worry friends, you’re not far behind!
  • Do you have baby names picked out? Well, you see. Baby Blasig is likely to be born on Estelle’s birthday, February 5th. According to her, we only have one name choice for our future baby boy or girl. 😉

Long Story:

This whole moment, announcing we’re pregnant, is really exceptional and amazing, but also a little bit bittersweet. For a long, long time Dustyn and I have been hoping for this. For the last three years, I’ve been in and out of the doctor’s office more times than I can count because things were just completely out of whack with me. I’ve had tons of friends in this time span that have announced pregnancies, had babies, and even have a second bun in the oven. Despite my excitement and happiness for them, I was always a little bit heartbroken and jealous too. Such a bottle of conflicting emotions and so disappointed in myself that I couldn’t completely push away my sadness and desire to be a mom to celebrate their moments. For all of the time we spent hoping and trying, I am completely aware there may be some of you who are in my shoes right now. (I’ve got tears streaming down my face, thinking about all those emotions I dealt with.) I don’t, at all, want my post to be one that rubs my pregnancy in anyone’s face. I understand.

These last few years, and maybe more specifically, the last 18 months, were some of the toughest I’ve ever been through. I felt so emotionally drained and so fed up with how difficult everything was. I questioned why it had to be so hard for us. Many times I sat at a dinner table with Dustyn and wept as another month passed and we were left waiting. He ever so patiently and lovingly dealt with my roller coaster of emotions and was so supportive. (Sometimes maybe a little too much as he’d say, “I just know it’s going to happen soon.” Maybe his definition of “soon” is different than mine, but man did it feel like an eternity.)

Over a year ago, last June, I sat at a table with Dustyn and we discussed our future family. Adoption was something we had discussed, vaguely, but that night we became a bit more serious about it. We both agreed that we didn’t want to spend years trying to have a baby and then more time waiting to be chosen or waiting to finish the licensing process to foster children. We decided we would take until the end of August to think and pray about what we wanted to do. I kid you not, at church one day the last week of August, they announced a partnership with a foster agency and had sign-ups to begin the classes for licensing. I immediately walked to the table and signed us up (yes, without even discussing with Dustyn first).

magan of rather be reading announces her pregnancy

Dustyn + me after announcing to our grandparents that we are having a baby; we got all of them together by telling them we wanted to have a lunch with them to “celebrate our anniversary.” One of my grandmother’s brought a cake!

From September to February, we worked on our licensing and continued to try for a baby (that phrase is really awkward to me, by the way). More doctor’s appointments came and went and I grew increasingly frustrated that it seemed we weren’t getting anywhere. Nothing was happening! We began receiving phone calls for children needing a foster placement in March and for every time we missed the opportunity to have a child in our home, I wept. I was having a really hard time dealing. Nothing, absolutely nothing, seemed to be working according to plan. I decided I needed a mental and emotional break. I cleared a few weeks of my work schedule to allow myself some time off. The very next day, we were so, so graciously blessed with our beautiful foster daughter.

Over the last few months, I’ve kept a lower stress level and continued to work, but on a much less hectic scale than I had been. I’ve really focused my time and attention on baby girl. I had less time to worry about waiting two weeks after I ovulated to see if I was pregnant. We went to Colorado in May with my family and the trip was somewhat stressful for me. Our foster daughter’s schedule was off and she wasn’t sleeping well. We were also pushing her a bit with inconsistent nap times as we traveled and explored. When we arrived back home and I realized I missed my period, I didn’t even think twice about it. In my mind, I was off because I had been stressed. It took three more days and me running to our house to grab something on Memorial Day and having to clutch my chest because my boobs hurt so badly for me to ask Dustyn, finally, “Do you want to know or do you want to keep waiting?”

First of all, let’s just add a disclaimer right here. Never, ever take a pregnancy test at night, friends. Never.

He was already cuddled up in bed with a book after a long, long day of BBQing with our neighbors and friends. He told me he was ready to know. I grabbed my pregnancy test and went to our second bathroom (our bed looks directly into our bathroom — a) I didn’t want to pee in front of him and b) if I had a breakdown over a negative test result, I was going to need a while to compose myself). The moment the test says “positive,” I start SCREAMING. I should mention that our second bathroom is by baby girl’s bedroom so my screaming caused Dustyn to run out of the bedroom, trying to hush me and saying, “SHHHHH. YOU’RE GOING TO WAKE THE BABY!” I yelled back, oh so happily, “WE DON’T CARE. WE DON’T CARE TONIGHT! WE GOT A POSITIVE. WE ARE HAVING A BABY.”

And there in our hallway, we hugged and cried and laughed and stared in complete utter disbelief that a test had finally, finally, finally come back positive. The next day I took another one just to be sure. The next week, I took another test just to be sure. That night, we called our parents and Face Timed with them to tell them our good news. We swore them to absolute secrecy and they promised they wouldn’t breathe a word to anyone. For all our excitement, there was so much fear in me. I was so scared that after all this time, something was going to happen and this little slice of happiness was going to disappear. We laid in bed that night, giggling like little school girls, so excited and giddy. We couldn’t sleep!

I had a doctor’s appointment at eight weeks. Well, I thought I was eight weeks according to my last cycle, but the baby measured at seven. My due date was pushed back from January 31st to February 7th. After the night we found out, I never got overly emotional or excited about my pregnancy. Fear completely overtook me. At my first appointment, when we saw the baby for the first time, I wept like nobody’s business. The nurse practitioner held my hand and the doctor passed me tissues and patted me on the back. I guess it just didn’t seem “real” until then.

magan

Baby Irmagerd: the 12 week ultrasound

Last week, I had a 12 week check-up and Little Irmagerd (we looked up popular German names and Irmagerd made the top 20 list — it’s our temporary placeholder name) was measuring just fine. Everything looks perfectly okay and now that we’re at trimester number two, we feel confident sharing the news and letting our little secret be known.

I’ve had a relatively blissful first 13 weeks so far. I’ve not suffered from morning sickness, though I did throw up last week because I was brushing my teeth. Stupid gag reflex. I’ve been extremely tired and needed a lot more naps than I ever knew I would need to take. I haven’t had super odd cravings or felt ridiculously emotional. I feel so much like myself, but my stomach is poking out in a very self-conscious-inducing way because I just look pudgy and not pregnant. Everyone told us that once we stopped thinking about having a baby, it would happen. I suppose we have one little girl to thank for taking our minds off of things.

Maybe you’re wondering what we’re planning with her. Maybe you’re wondering if we’ll still want to adopt her. The answer is, if we can, absolutely yes. There’s no question in my mind that we want to make her a permanent member of our family. She feels like ours. We’re a long, long, long way away from knowing what will ultimately happen with her, but for now, we’ll continue to enjoy every single day with her and hope and pray she’ll be ours officially one day.

So friends, there’s the story. I’m having a baby. Rather Be Reading is expanding. (HA.) Nine beautiful years of marriage, and today we celebrate the hope of many, many more to come and the excitement of waiting for our little person to be here. Holy moly.

magan

 

December 22, 2013 - 12:44 pm

Annual End of Year Book Survey – 2013 Edition! - […] up to their readers and discuss personal issues like Magan’s reflection on foster care and pregnancy announcement make the experience seems all the more personal and allows their readers to connect with them on a […]

November 5, 2013 - 8:00 am

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Rather Be Reading! - […] kind of goes without saying that one of my favorite moments to get to share with you guys was announcing my pregnancy. My whole body was shaking that day as I read your comments, received your tweets/texts, and sobbed […]

August 11, 2013 - 10:31 am

Alexa Y. - I’ve already told you this, but I want to post an official comment on this post because it’s AMAZING. Congratulations to you + D! I can’t think of 2 people more suited to be parents, and I think it’s such a beautiful blessing for you both. Can’t wait to see your little family expand! So excited for Baby Blasig 🙂

August 9, 2013 - 1:56 pm

Kari - Your post just brought tears to my eyes! I’m SO happy for your expanding family! I know what it’s like to be trying for years and see friends being blessed with not one, but two, three and even for kids (one friend of mine is pregnant with baby number SIX). My husband and I welcomed our first baby earlier this year (February 1st!), and we’re beyond grateful for him and the joy he brings to our lives every day. Enjoy every second of your pregnancy! Spend time cherishing your little one as he or she continues to grow and develop inside you (okay, that sounds weird, but hopefully you know what I mean!). Happy, happy day! 🙂

August 8, 2013 - 11:19 pm

Katelyn - I know this comment is getting to you a bit late but I just wanted to let you know that I am so incredibly happy for you and Dustyn! I saw you mention this something in one of your Instagram pics and had to hurry on over to your blog to see what was going on(please don’t be freaked out I was stalking your pics, they’re always just so cute!). But anyways, getting back on track, this post most definitely brought tears to my eyes in the best way possible. I just know that this little baby is going to be so loved and that your little family is going to be even more adorable <3

August 6, 2013 - 12:19 am

elena - I’ve already said this before but AHHHHH SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! Cannot wait to see your new baby and I already know you are a fantastic mother!!! Good luck with everything and please keep me updated xx

August 5, 2013 - 10:06 pm

Asheley Tart (@BookwormAsheley) - MAGAN, you must think I’m the worst friend ever! I’m LATE LATE to the party, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less excited and thrilled and overjoyed at this news. I’m SO thrilled, SO happy, and I just don’t know what to say except that my face hurts from smiling so big. It really does. It probably looks really goofy but I don’t even care. I’m so sorry you didn’t hear from me sooner, but I’m toasting you and Dustyn RIGHT THIS SECOND, right here in my PJ’s. Now my prayers have expanded to included two babies! How exciting. I love it. 1 Samuel 1:27 NIV

August 4, 2013 - 12:51 pm

Liz (Along for the Read) - Congratulations, Magan! Such a beautiful post, and such exciting news! Have a wonderful, healthy pregnancy and enjoy every step of it.

Also, I am loving your current hair colour, and you look fantastic in that photo, it looks like pregnancy is treating you well.

August 3, 2013 - 2:08 pm

Magan - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU ALL! I read all of your comments with tears streaming down my face. Getting to share the news felt so amazing and I’m so grateful for this little moment in our lives. So happy we get to share it with all of you. Thank you for all the love and support! I’m overwhelmed (in the best of ways!) by you guys! xoxoxo

August 2, 2013 - 8:37 pm

Annette - Your story brought tears to my eyes. I have several family members who have difficulty getting pregnant. One has two children now. One is still waiting and hoping.

Congratulations. Really…I’m so happy for you and your family. God bless you.

August 1, 2013 - 7:57 pm

picturemereading - Congratulations! That is an amazing story 🙂

August 1, 2013 - 1:45 pm

Melissa @ Writer Grrl Reads - I exploded with love all over Twitter yesterday….I’m SO happy for you, Magan. Then, I popped over here to read your post, had a good cry, but couldn’t comment because I couldn’t see the screen through the tears. Perhaps it’s because all of the memories are all so fresh in my mind, but I just can’t wait for you to experience every amazing moment that pregnancy has to offer! I had an inkling of the struggles that you’d been through getting to this point, but you’ve explained it SO eloquently in this post that I just want to give you a massive hug for real.

July 31, 2013 - 10:05 pm

Sash - I’m overjoyed that you’re having a baby! 🙂 I know that you’ll be a great mother. Maybe you’ll even get into audiobooks so the little one can listen to books soon too! 🙂 So happy for you and Dustyn! Muah!

July 31, 2013 - 6:47 pm

Jenny - So very excited for you!! I loved every second of my pregnancy and max is more than I ever could have imagined… I wish the same for you and so much more!!

July 31, 2013 - 6:42 pm

kristi wright - So many happy thoughts coming your way. Congratulations!!! xoxo

July 31, 2013 - 5:48 pm

VeganYANerds - I am so, so happy for you guys! Enjoy every minute of it 🙂 xoxox

July 31, 2013 - 5:47 pm

Tara - I am so unbelievably happy for you and Dustyn!! You are already an amazing mom and baby #2 will be lucky to have you. My positive thoughts will be with you throughout your entire pregnancy 🙂 And I expect baby bump pics stat!

July 31, 2013 - 5:23 pm

Christine @ Oh, Chrys! - This is such amazing, sweet news! I loved the creative way you announced. Wish you the best with your pregnancy! Congratulations!

July 31, 2013 - 4:44 pm

Katie @ Mundie Moms - I AM SO HAPPY for you guys! I am literally in tears for you! I am so, so happy! Seriously! Congratulations! What an amazing time in your lives. You are such an amazing person, and I have always thought of you as an anchor of strength. Now I seriously want to go out and buy you baby items. I am dancing around for you. Enjoy this moment Magan! I could not be any happier for your family!

July 31, 2013 - 4:41 pm

Lori - I already told you that this made me cry, but I just read it again and got teary all over again! It took us a long time to get pregnant and we had given up for about a year and accepted it wasn’t going to happen…and then it did. Now I can’t imagine a life without that little guy. So this makes me extra thrilled for you guys.
I absolutely loved being pregnant and I miss it! I hope that yours continues to be smooth and that you enjoy it as much as I did. It’s such an amazing time. Just want until you start feeling that baby move! There’s nothing like it. Oh, and I never had bad morning sickness, but brushing my teeth made me throw up 3 out of 5 times lol. I’m going to stop rambling now, but I just gets so excited about pregnancy and babies these days.

Congrats again. You guys are already wonderful parents!

July 31, 2013 - 4:06 pm

Randi M - Happy anniversary & CONGRATULATIONS! I can’t even begin to imagine how hard the last few years have been for your family. Great news is great. 🙂

July 31, 2013 - 3:36 pm

Tressa - Congratulations! 🙂

July 31, 2013 - 3:30 pm

Nikki @ The Paper Sea - Such exciting news! I am so happy for you and Dustyn! Congratulations, and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well!

July 31, 2013 - 2:59 pm

Cynthia - Congratulations Magan!!!!! I’m so happy for you!!! =D and she looks lovely already in that ultrasound.

July 31, 2013 - 2:24 pm

Daisy - OMG!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! 😀 I’m so happy for you guys!!!

July 31, 2013 - 2:18 pm

Elora Nicole - Welp. I’m crying. This is beautiful, Magan. SO EXCITED FOR YOU. <3

July 31, 2013 - 2:00 pm

Hollie @ Music, Books and Tea - Congratulations! I’m so happy for you Magan, here’s to a healthy and happy pregnancy for you! 🙂

July 31, 2013 - 1:28 pm

Elissa - I’m so happy for you, Magan. And this is so wonderfully written; I don’t consider myself maternal by any means but reading about how you felt when you saw the positive test made me want to cry for you (with happiness). What an amazing family you guys are!!!

July 31, 2013 - 1:13 pm

Brittany @ The Book Addict's Guide - AHHHH congrats, Magan!!!! That story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I am just over the moon for you guys! I’m so happy for you! xoxo

July 31, 2013 - 12:46 pm

Jessie @ Jessie Marie Reads - Oh. My. Goodness. CONGRATULATIONS! I’m in a puddle of my own tears of joy for you and yours and am so excited. What a beautiful story with a fantastic ending and the most promising of futures. Ah! Babies. Absolutely beautiful. Congratulations and best wishes for a super awesome pregnancy. : )

July 31, 2013 - 12:34 pm

Jess @ Gone with the Words - AAAAAAH! I am sitting here at work, CRYING because I am SO, SO HAPPY for you guys!! And just another reminder of things happening when their meant to, gosh, what wonderful news, Magan. I wish I could totally hug you right nooooow!

July 31, 2013 - 12:30 pm

Allison L - Ahhh Magan! I’m teary eyed right now because I’m so happy for you. Congratulations!! <3

July 31, 2013 - 12:30 pm

Hazel - I’m real happy for you guys!!! Congratulations!!!!

July 31, 2013 - 12:22 pm

Elizabeth @ Don't Take My Books Away - Congratulations! It is such a joy to be a parent (as I am sure your foster daughter has already taught you) and pregnancy is a really special time. I hope you enjoy it, even with its discomforts. And SO SO soon there will be a precious little baby to cuddle and love and watch grow– SO much fun!

July 31, 2013 - 12:18 pm

Betty - YAY!!! Congratulations!!!!! <3 This post literally made me tear up! So many of my friends have struggled to get pregnant or have gone through miscarriages. Pregnancy seems so simple and natural, yet it isn't always that easy! So so soooo happy for you– wish you all the absolute best!!!

July 31, 2013 - 12:13 pm

Lena @ Addicted 2 Novels - OMG, congratulations! That’s so amazing. Your baby was suppose to be born on my birthday (aka Justin Timberlake’s birthday). How funny!

AHHH, I’m seriously dying of happiness right now for the both of you. I know how long you’ve wanted this and already know what an amazing mother you are and will be. I hope the baby likes being photographed!

July 31, 2013 - 12:08 pm

Willa - CONGRATS MAGAN! YAY!

July 31, 2013 - 12:08 pm

Melissa Walker - AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I love everything, everything, everything about the way you’ve expressed yourself here, and I am so happy for you guys. Your home is already full of love, it’s clear. What a lucky, lucky baby.

July 31, 2013 - 12:05 pm

Rachel - I totally skipped this post at first because I thought it was something else, but oh my gosh! I’m so so excited for you! Reading your story almost had me in tears I’ve known people in your position. Eeek! Best news ever 🙂

July 31, 2013 - 12:03 pm

Cassie - OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD Congratulations sweetheart!!! I HAVE NO DOUBT YOU WILL TREASURE EVERY MOMENT!! <3 congratttttttttttttttsssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 31, 2013 - 12:01 pm

Ginger @ GReads! - Everything happens for a reason <3 I love you sweet friend!

July 31, 2013 - 11:54 am

Ashley - I know I’ve told you this on instagram (heartontheline) and twitter (_ash) and we’re new friends, but I am so, so, so, so happy for you. Filled with love and joy for you. That baby (and your foster baby) are so lucky.

July 31, 2013 - 11:42 am

daphne - I don’t even know you and this has made me so happy. I’m so excited for you to become a mom. It’s a beautiful journey and it seems like you & your hubby are starting out on the right foot. Congratulations! I know you’re gonna be wonderful parents and your baby (and foster baby girl) are very lucky to have you guys.

July 31, 2013 - 11:40 am

Natalie @ books, etc - Congratulations Magan!!! I am so so happy for you guys <3

July 31, 2013 - 11:38 am

Morgan Rooks - Oh my goodness, what exciting news!! Congratulations!! Sending good vibes for a happy, healthy pregnancy!

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